June 13, 2011

Birthday Blessings!!

As Nevin maps out all the upcoming movies and their release dates on his calendar, he is starting to take more notice of other important dates....... like birthdays. It has been fun, because it means you get to have happy birthday sung to you many times before the actual day! And gives him lots of time to plan. Nevin planned a date to celebrate my birthday last week.

He took me to see KungFu Panda 2.

Then he took me to Chuck E. Cheese's.

And he ordered me his favorite sausage pizza.

And he bought me some tokens and helped me use them.

We had a great time!! I felt very special.

Since Nevin monopolized my time........ my other lovies had a hard time finding me. Hannah left me some beautiful flowers and Nolan had to come for a late night birthday hug and a wonderful candle.

Birthday gifts!! each one of them...... each child gifted to me by God...... each one fitting perfectly into their place in my life. Hannah bringing beauty and compassion that only a daughter can, Nolan bringing a calm strength that needs no words and Nevin bringing love beyond measure. I am truly blessed!

June 7, 2011

pizza anyone?

Soooo, this evening we "learn a lesson" as Nevin would say. He learned that there is a significant difference between cooking your pizza in the microwave for 2 min 22 seconds and cooking it for 22 minutes and 22 seconds. The difference, you ask......... smoke!! and lot's of it.

The "lesson" I learned is: 1.) that I must re-evaluate whether I think Nevin can be home by himself...... and I need to do some praying about this...... while I need to ensure his safety, we must also figure out how to identify "acceptable risk" in pursuit of his desired independence. 2.) Time to start figuring out ways to help him increase his skills in this area.

We also learned that our smoke alarms never came on, despite a huge amount of smoke. They are hard wired and cover the bedrooms and basement....... but not the living areas! hmm, guess we'll be adding a couple smoke alarms.

Nevin's eyes were watering and his nose was running. My eyes were burning like crazy. We went to the basement to bring up fans and Nevin was rattled enough that while hurrying up the stairs with the large fan, fell and scraped up both shins and the fan went flying.

So, lessons learned and more importantly..... I see some "learning" in the near future.
It is difficult to figure out how and what to teach him to do..... especially if it is different than what we did. i.e. we didn't leave the house, we didn't call the fire department, hmmm....... how to teach, how to teach........ always a puzzle.

June 6, 2011

Garage Sale........ results/feelings.......

I have struggled all day with a post about the garage sale. The basic things are easy to say..... #1. THANK YOU!! to everyone who helped #2. It was a huge success, currently stand at $850 income, with some craiglist, ebay and consignment yet to do with the "leftovers"...... hoping to be able to bring the grand total to over $1000.

What I'm struggling with is describing how I'm feeling. Yes, I'm bone tired, I ran several nights on little sleep and then the night before the opening of the garage sale...... I actually didn't quite make it to bed. I lost track of time as I was working in the garage and I knew I was in trouble when I started to hear the birds chirping, telling me that the sun was coming up.
But the part I'm having trouble putting words to, is the emotional toll, the emotional weariness. Selling things that were "special" (.... yes, I kept some special things).... watching people carry around my "memories" in their hands, having absolutely no idea the love and heartache that was "connected" to some of those things. And even more than memories, many things also had "dreams" attached to them...... dreams that I need to let go of... dreams that I spent the day "letting go of" piece by piece as I helped load the crib into the back of someone's pick-up, as I stuffed bargain priced baby clothes into grocery bags that had previously been folded neatly in drawers in the "spare" room, ........ dreams of bringing home an angel through Reece's Rainbow. It takes a unified commitment to do that, and while i would "in a heartbeat" .... God has not placed that same desire on my husband's heart. And never in a million years would I want to do it without him having the same desire. Only God could convince a logically thinking man with valid human fears/concerns to traverse the ocean and bring home a child with special needs.
And somehow, because my heart's desire would be to adopt one or two with Down syndrome..... I've somehow lost sight of how else I can make a difference for these precious orphans. I feel inadequate in my attempts........ and despite the success of this garage sale, and knowing that Cyril is WORTH what was accomplished and the amount of work that was involved. I am overwhelmed with a sense of it not being enough...... that I need to do more.......
I read blogs of many powerful advocates whom have a way of giving voice to these orphans in a way that is making a huge difference. A few of my favorites are Lily's Mom, Patti and Adeye's blog No Greater Joy Mom and Aaron's Mom, Julia Please go check out their blogs!!

And pray that I will be able to let go of MY dreams, MY plans, MY selfishness and let God guide my path. While I cling to MY path, I am not able to see how God can use me, if only I would let him lead to that path HE would have me travel. Even as I pray and try to listen to God's will....... I want SO much to bring things with me to HIS path.... I grieve the shattered dreams that I must leave as God says.... "come"...... leave those plans.......

oh, my goodness....... Lord, please.......... have mercy on me........ help me get to the end of my pitiful self!! then and only then....... can it be truly for YOUR glory.

ok....... good thing I've only got about two followers!! and they already love me ;) I'd scare anyone else away! :) and because there is only a couple of you........ I'm gonna be brave and hit "post".

Yes, Cyril.......... I have not given up ....... I will continue to pray, that your forever family finds you!! and that when they do....... we will have LOT's of money in your account to help them get you home!!!! We will keep fundraising!! just gotta figure out what to do next. :)

***oh, and also.......... SOMEBODY (nevin) was very excited to find a JAMES BOND briefcase at our garage sale!! complete with "secret code locks" to keep bad guys out of it.

iheartfaces: From a distance

This week's iheartfaces challenge is focusing on a photo taken at more of a distance. Examples of this would be: a photo with the people way off in the distance in a beautiful location, a photo that features many people rather than focusing on a single face, a silhouette photo taken from afar, a photo with the subjects walking away from the camera, etc.

This photo was taken the day of the "barn burner", which of course if you've read the post you know what a very special day it was. One of my favorite pictures was this one, it shows the intensity of the heat. Obviously, I am not an experienced photographer...... but, I do enjoy using my camera to help us keep our memories "visual". One of the things that surprised us was the intense heat........ even "at a distance".